What Should Replace the British Monarchy?

 

José Mujica, former president of Uruguay, called "The Most humble President".

 

The Grand Tradition

Hereditary Kings and Queens have ruled over various iterations of what we know as Great Britain and the United Kingdom for over a thousand years. A “grand tradition” you could argue.

But does tradition mean permanency? Should tradition mean permanency? In my opinion, no. Nations, like technology, society and life itself, should evolve in my view. They should change and adapt to a changing world. With this in mind, some more questions: why should any one family rule over this "Sceptered Isle"? Why is it that one family can embody the values that we cherish more than any other family from these shores? If you love this country, its people, its community, its towns and cities, its hills, valleys, woodlands and rivers, and you want to represent the best aspects of all this to the world, why shouldn’t you be given that chance?

Besides, it is very possible that England, Scotland, Wales and Ireland, who have shared nationhood in various ways over the centuries, will become distinct and independent countries in the future (and in fact this article assumes that they will). If and when this happens, will there be a place for the monarchy in this new configuration of what has been called the British Isles (among other things)? If your answer to this question is “no” then we come to possibly the most vexing question: when we decide that the hereditary monarchy has had its day, and that it's time to move beyond this institution, what should replace it?

So What Should Replace the Hereditory Monarch?

The debate over what should replace the monarchy is often the time when we move to the stronger ground of those who would prefer to keep it as it is. Common arguments they put forward are things like “look at America, would you like to have a president like they do? Would you like someone like Biden or Trump? Really??” Well no I wouldn’t, and I don’t think the American presidency is something we need to aim for. 

 

So what should our “head of state” look like after the hereditary monarchy has finally had its day? What should its powers and responsibilities be? How should a future Head of State be chosen and what should be their “term of office”? Here is my attempt to answer some of these questions.

A New England

Photo by Veronica White on Unsplash

In a future England, where our parliament is elected by proportional representation, and where the old House of Lords has been replaced by a Citizens Assembly, I believe our head of state should embody the principle of serving the community. You often see special shows that honour “unsung heroes”: for instance someone who gives all their time to run a sports team for a deprived estate, or someone who took over a community centre when it was derelict and restored it to its former place as a vital location for people to meet up in fellowship and plan constructive activities and projects. As well as these unsung heroes there are scientists and engineers who have done amazing, sometimes groundbreaking work for the good of humanity, and sportspeople and celebrities who have been elevated to the status of “national treasures” but retain their common touch.

So how about, say every four years, a list is drawn up of these unsung heroes, beloved experts and national treasures? These would be our “candidates” for the next Head of State (HOS). 

 

Who would draw up the list of candidates? I would suggest that what is currently called “The King’s Trust” could evolve into “The People’s Trust”. As soon as the current HOS is inaugurated, they would begin researching, taking nominations and scouring the country for the candidates to be the next one.

A Citizens Assembly

Through a series of interviews and assessments, the People's Trust would filter these would-be heads of state down to the last 3 or 4 candidates. The candidates would then be introduced to the nation. As the current HOS nears the end of their term, we would get to know these candidates through biographical documentaries, character portraits and perhaps even light hearted reality shows like a special series of Masterchef. These programs would be fun, informative, poignant and relatable; designed for people to discuss and debate the candidates and choose their favourites. While all this is going on, a Citizens Assembly would be advertised, to which you would be able to apply to take part.

The Citizens Assembly in question would be stratified in order to take supporters in equal measure from each of the candidates, as well as finding a proportional balance for gender, race, age, area of the country lived in and and other relevant attributes. The Assembly would then deliberate on who should be chosen as England’s next Head of State. At some point before (or maybe alongside) this process takes place we would also need to do assiduous “due diligence” on the candidates, with special regard to the “national treasures”. We wouldn’t want to find out down the road that we had a Jimmy Savile on our hands!

White Smoke From the Vatican

As a bit of added theatre, we could incorporate our own version of the smoke system which the Vatican utilizes when selecting a new Pope. However, being a Citizens Assembly, this would not exactly be the act of choosing our new head of state. Rather, the “white smoke signal” (or whatever our equivalent would be) would alert us that the HOS Citizens Assembly is ready to “make a recommendation”. This recommendation would then need to be ratified by parliament. Unless there are special reasons for the recommendation from the HOS Citizens Assembly to be rejected (i.e. due diligence found something to make the applicant unsuitable), parliamentary approval would be expected to be a routine matter.*

Pomp and Circumstance

Queen Victoria Receiving the Sacrament at her Coronation, 28 June 1838

How should England’s head of state be inaugurated in the future? 

We know about the pomp and circumstance of the current monarchy and its ornate coronations, and it is widely accepted that these traditions are part of the “soft power” of the UK. Yes people will point at the cost of such ceremonies and it is a valid point that they make. And it should also be noted that many of the expensive props that are used in these ceremonies originally belonged to other countries and are the plunder of Empire. With all of this in mind I don’t think it is inherently wrong for a nation to “put out its best China” every now and then, and invite the rest of the world to witness and join in a spectacle and a celebration. A balance needs to be maintained here I think, but certainly an issue for further thought, discussion and debate.

The Duties of England’s Future Head of State

The Head of State would be a mainly ceremonial role. To me the job of this HOS would be to embody the values that I would like to think sum up this green and pleasant land - the values of service, humility, selflessness, compassion, integrity and courage (all the while accepting that the HOS is an imperfect human being like the rest of us). 

What leeway would a future HOS have to comment and agitate on the issues of the day? 
For this answer I would probably call back to the last hereditary monarch that enjoyed near universal admiration across the United Kingdom - Queen Elizabeth. I think almost everyone respected the quiet dignity with which Elizabeth discharged her duties, and I think the balance she maintained between personal beliefs and gracious objectivity (leaning very heavily towards the latter) was as near to perfection as it's possible to get. 

This is Your Land

 

A final aside - many sources cite the current British monarchy as the biggest landowner in the world, owning great swathes of land inside and outside the British Isles. In England this land would be given to the people, restoring the Right to Roam (with all the responsibilities that this entails) for all of us. Internationally it would be great, in an ideal world, for this land to be returned to the peoples of the respective countries where the Monarch’s former territories are located, but I realise this is the real world and it wouldn’t be that simple.

 

Photo by Museums of History New South Wales on Unsplash

*The more eagle eyed readers may have spotted that this blog proposes a Citizens Assembly to replace one of the legislative houses (The House of Lords) and one to deliberate on a new monarch and may wonder how that would work when it comes to ratification. The truth is I wonder the same so yeah, a potential gap in the logic there.

The King of Vitcenstein

 

 

1. A Stranger Arrives  

Long ago there was a land of beautiful countryside, of green hills, sprawling forests and tall mountains, through which blue rivers flowed.

To the South of this land, beyond a shimmering barrier, was a barren country of snow and ice.  This land, or zone, was named the Frozen Wastes.  To the North was a huge pyramid shaped creature whose single eye stared balefully out, seeming to follow the movements of anyone who came into range of its gaze.  Although it had never been named, all who saw it knew that this living edifice was called Isis. 

To the West was a chaotic nightmare of surreal and anarchic visions that was even more terrifying than the pyramid.  And finally, to the East, there was nothing.  

How long the land remained like this, an island of beauty beset from all sides by darkness and the unknown no one could say.  And it seemed that the population of this land did not even begin to consider such questions until they sensed a change beginning.  

It was said that a stranger had been seen by many in this land, a wanderer who had tracked his way northward, babbling to himself.  To any that could hear him, he had spoken of a fear and disquiet in his mind.  When he reached the centre of the zone, he had found a small, rose covered cottage, where he had rested and contemplated the things that troubled him.   

It is told that as the stranger woolgathered, there in the rose covered cottage, the land around him began to decay, as if the negativity in the mind of this intruder was manifesting itself physically in his surroundings.  And like an alien bacteria that had established a disease, the deterioration began to spread outwards from its epicentre, where the stranger sat thinking.   

Trees, grass and even animals began to wither and die.  Birds fell from in-flight,choking and screaming in anguish.  And the ground itself became saturated, turning into clinging mud underfoot.  

Eventually the stranger moved on, resuming his journey northward – and the sickness in the land followed after him. 

2. A People Gather, and a Book is Found  

As has been said, the people who lived in that land noticed as this change began, and some of them joined together to search for the source of this decay that was spreading.  It is not recorded how large this collection of people was – but it seems that the group grew as they searched, swelled by the little communities and homesteads sprinkled around the countryside.   

It has been theorised that as time passed, this group grew as big as a nation, and that this nation had leaders as it wandered through the land.  If true then this would be the story of an Exodus.  But there are no records to confirm or deny such reports. 

Yet still a people gathered; a group of people who came together in fear of a growing darkness.  And the people searched for the root of what disturbed them.  

And it was not difficult to find the now miserable, derelict hut which the stranger had formerly occupied.  

The group searched through the domicile, and discovered a journal, filled with the stranger’s thoughts and the misgivings that he had perceived.  The book had started as a philosophical tract, an essay on the gap between idealism and reality.  But as it progressed, it became a search for what could be found to blame for life’s ills and the misfortunes that beset us.   

At the end of the second part of the tract, the writer concluded that the only way that things could be made right, the only hope of deliverance, was by establishing exacting rules of conduct that would be so repressive that people would no longer be able to think for themselves.  Thus their troubles would no longer haunt them.  

Following this conclusion the third, and by far the largest segment of the tract was a detailed list of rules that should be followed by a nation of people, if they were ruled by the writer.  By the end of the book these commands were no longer called rules: they were named as laws that should be adopted by any state that had the courage or wisdom to pursue the purity of ignorance.  And these laws were now accompanied by punishments that were as regressive and barbaric as the laws themselves.  

The group were confused.  Why had the stranger written this book?  And why had he left it behind?   

3. The People Begin to Change

Something should be mentioned here: as the search party approached the now ramshackle hut where they had found the stranger’s book, they themselves were becoming infected by the deterioration that they witnessed in their land.  The mood of the group darkened with the skies, and they began to criticise each other’s behaviour, and the things their colleagues within the party did, even wishing grievous misfortune to befall each other for the most trivial of reasons.  

At the same time, their feelings towards the increasing decrepitude began to change, although they did not discuss this aloud.  The feelings of alarm and horror which were the initial reactions of the people to the degradation that they saw gradually became acceptance; and eventually acceptance evolved into a form of affection, which itself became a kind of worship.  This change was not acknowledged until one of the party fell in the mud, and proceeded to glorify in his filth, rolling in the mud and covering every inch of himself in its soiled wetness.  

It was from this moment that the individuals in the party did take note of the changes that had come over them, and began to fear it.  They tried to resist the squalor that was invading their thoughts, but found this became ever more difficult as they approached the place where the stranger had resided.  They talked of abandoning their quest, though this suggestion was never really taken seriously.  

And now, when they looked at this book, and wondered at its existence, it felt as though the affectations they felt within them were aggrandised, and they no longer resisted becoming part of the new zone that was taking shape around them and within them.  Indeed, they took the book to their hearts, and began to read to each other from it, and memorise its passages, as if it were some holy tract that they had discovered.  And when one person took an action which was perceived to clash with the strict guidelines given in the book this person was castigated, and tied to a chair and struck several times.  

Then he was locked in one of the new rooms that had appeared inside the hut (a hut that had begun, inexplicably, to swell in size).  

One of the party was left to guard the new zone’s first ‘law breaker’ as the others set off to pursue the stranger that they now revered as a prophet king. 

4. A Child is Found  

They found the child far to the north of the land that was becoming The Zone of Twisted Justice, standing atop a slagheap and drinking in the gaze of the giant pyramid that dominated the horizon.  

The child claimed to be the offspring of this new land’s founder, who, he said, had journeyed to the North, to territories that were as yet uncharted.  This pronouncement caused many varied reactions within the group: Awe that it appeared their Great Legislator had dared to face Isis itself; Fear that the Pyramid seemed unchanged by this challenge; pain because it seemed that the Great Legislator had abandoned them; and confusion caused by the mystery of the child that stood before them now.  

Why was the child standing atop a slag heap which seemed to mirror the shape of the pyramid that loomed above them?  

Who, and where was his mother?  

How did he get to this advanced age so quickly?  

The boy dismissed these questions with an impatient wave.  This world was his mother, he told the party – the world that was the totality of fact in their lives.  And he appeared as he was before them so that he could assume his rightful mantle immediately.  And he then proclaimed himself as the first rightful Kind of Vitcenstein, having been anointed by his father, the Great Legislator, and the very world that had created him.  

Beyond this he did not speak, and the party that discovered him found him to be a disturbing presence, his gaze as fixed and unyielding as the pyramid that had looked previously upon him.  

And it was the presence of this Pyramid, the cold scrutiny of Isis, that caused the group to demur now.  They decided there was nothing more for them here, now that their beloved legislator was gone, and they set out southwards, to return to the cabin where the Book had been found. 

5 The ‘King’ Gathers His Subjects  

It is recorded that the journey back south was a troubled one, and that despite the child’s reticence and uncommunicative demeanour, it was not long before the he had gathered a clan of fanatical followers.  These followers he named ‘the loyalists’, for they had accepted the boy’s claim to be their rightful king.  

At first it was a mystery as to how this child had gained so many servants.  But it was later revealed that the people who would become ‘Loyalists’ had been fed a certain type of fungus that only the child had knowledge of.  How he came by this knowledge has never been discovered.  However this had the effect of rendering the person who had consumed the fungus into an almost mindless, zombie-like state.   

Under the influence of the drug the Loyalists wished for two things: to serve their monarch without question, and to make more people like them.  And the child was only too pleased to accept their service and to provide them with the tools to achieve the latter desire.  

Before their journey had ended, leaders of the erstwhile search party had been forced to isolate the child and his followers from the rest of the group.

6 What Became of the Stranger’s Shack  

The search party arrived back at the stranger’s derelict hut that had once been a rose covered cottage, and found that the building had undergone another transformation, this one even more dramatic.   

The basic shape of the shack had not changed, but it had burgeoned to many times its original size. With its tapered red brick roof that had faded to a dirty ochre colour, and its towering drab grey walls, it looked like some massive beached ark of misery that had ran aground in the centre of this new zone.  A reflection of what this land had become.  

And lo!  When they approached the building they found a sign above its now cavernous entrance, a sign that read “The Big Prison”.  They knocked upon the door, and a squat, bald man answered, kneeling before the Officials and paying homage to “The Messengers of the Great Legislator”.  

The man who had greeted the search party took a select few of them inside the great building, where they were taken down a bewildering array of passageways that were lined with dank jail cells; passageways that were patrolled by large men with huge moustaches. 

Along the way they passed the first man who had been convicted of breaking the laws of Vitcenstein.  The unfortunate wretch had aged in the time they had been away, and now cackled to himself, half naked and chained to a wall.  

Upon entry into what they were told was the Governor’s Office, it was revealed that the building they now stood in was now named as the Big Prison – the chief incarceration unit of Vitcenstein. 

7 Journey to Tractatus  

Many things were revealed to them in the office of the Big Prisoner’s first governor.  Mainly they concerned the workings of the prison itself and the mechanics of the relationship between this prison and Vitcenstein’s inchoate justice system.  But another thing was imparted to them that profoundly changed their view of this new world: to the South and West of the new prison, Vitcenstein had a capital city.   

The zone was taking shape around them, and even though the party had found the shack that became the monstrous edifice in which they now abided, and even though they worshipped the words of the Great Legislator, whose twisted ruminations had been the basis of all they witnessed, it was to them a struggle to keep abreast of the fateful events that were unfolding.  Nevertheless they resolved to travel to this new capital.  And the prison governor assured them that their arrival was anticipated.  

Many of the party wanted to incarcerate the child within the new prison; however, despite many arguments the self proclaimed King retained his liberty.  For the boy commanded a fear – partly because of the knowledge he had demonstrated, and partly because of the following he had gathered, which continued to grow.  

And so it was that the boy and his growing entourage remained with the group as it set out to towards the new capital city.  By now the transformation of the land around them was complete, and where once there had been gentle hills and green valleys threaded with blue rivers, and woods filled with tall trees, there was now an endless expanse of thick, cloying mud, fuelled by endless drizzle that fell from a uniformly grey sky.  Below this drab firmament lay a similarly uniform landscape dotted by anorexic trees that looked as though they were being kept alive against their will. 

And yet the people of Vitcenstein, as they were now, rejoiced at these sights, and wallowed in the filth in which they now existed, and they compared with each other the various rashes and skin diseases that afflicted them as they adjusted to life in this new world and became part of the landscape.  

Finally, they came within sight of the magisterial junk yard that was Tractatus, capital city of Vitcenstein.  When they saw the metropolis that had materialised in order to be their new home, the leaders of the group, the first governors of Vitcenstein, fell in love.  Truly, they felt that they had arrived at the place where they belonged.

8. The Fate of the King  

And so the body of people, who had originally set out perhaps years earlier in their search for the root cause of the changes that were transforming their world, finally arrived in the capital city of the new state that had formed around them.  When they had set out they had no common bond, and were simply a group of strangers that had come together in fear of an alien influence that appeared to have infected the land they inhabited.  Now they were citizens and leaders of this Zone of Twisted Justice.  

Thence the leaders of the group went forth unto the Halls of Justice. 

And a cheering multitude welcomed them and lined their way as they marched to the place where they would assume the mantle of government.  Behind the leaders marched those in the group who had been appointed as officials who would enforce the laws of Vitcenstein.  And many of those that welcomed their new rulers were arrested that day.  

The Halls of Justice were another surprise for new rulers, for the Halls stood out as a complex and elaborate piece of architecture, and something that their mysterious builders had actually taken care over in their construction.  

It was inside these halls that the government of Vitcenstein took its seat, and pondered upon the future of their self proclaimed ‘King’.  

The decision was taken that the King would neither be acknowledged or punished for his claims.  This was because though the ruling council did not want to share power with the boy, they also feared him because of the manner of his appearance and because of the knowledge that he held.  The council’s problem, however, would be how they could abrogate the power that the child exerted over his followers, and how to stop him adding to their number until he had the ability to overwhelm them.  

The solution, when they came to it, was simple but enduring.