I was at my parents' house and I stood up and looked out through the front window at the estate where I grew up.
I saw a nuclear explosion.
"Look Vanessa," I said to my little sister, pointing at the nuclear explosion, "it's a nuclear explosion!"
As I spoke the top of the mushroom cloud detached itself from the nuclear explosion and came crashing down into the road outside my parent's house. It looked like a bunch of giant mushrooms tied together with mud. "Oh dear," I thought, "radioactive waste. I'd better tell somebody".
I made my way through to my parents' kitchen where my mother was pottering about. "Mom", I began to say, "Mom..." I gave up and headed upstairs towards my bedroom. On the landing I could see my father pottering about.
Radioactive waste was tearing holes in the roof of the house now, though I seemed to be more worried about that fact that the roof would now leak water when it rained than the fact that the holes were caused by radioactive waste.
But my friends were on their way to pick me up as we were going for a night out, so I walked into my room and opened my wardrobe to pick out an outfit. I picked this very strange gold, yellow and red silk tunic with a zig zag button fastening pattern, and as I put on the tunic I felt very confident that I would look very smooth in my outfit.
I walked downstairs, looked in the mirror and recoiled in horror, as I realised the tunic did in fact make me look like Ming the Merciless from Flash Gordon.
I stomped back upstairs to find there was some guy sitting cross legged in my room. He was burning joss sticks and rolling a joint, and I appreciated the fact that the burning incense warmed the room and compensated for the holes in the roof that had been torn open by the radioactive waste.
"Look at this outfit," I said to him in a dismayed tone, "it's not me at all!"
The guy looked me up and down and agreed. "Someone's taken you for a right mug, pal!" he said in a heavy welsh accent.
